26 Oct 2011


The Rewards for working in the National Health Service

Fair days pay for a fair days work - NO

Equality against social class - NO (Actually nowhere is it more prevalent than in our so-called socialist NHS)

Career Progression - NO (I know my place)

Recognition from Managers - NO

Recognition from the great British public - NO

So why, why i hear you say do we work for the NHS. Well we help people and I can sleep at night knowing that at-least.

check this youtube clip and you'll understand the whole class thing, which unfortunately is still as strong today as it back then.


13 Oct 2011

Reality Shows

We all watch the reality show documentaries like Soho Blues, real A&E, Emergency Bikers, Emergency with Angela Griffin, Helicopter Heroes etc. Us ambulance service staff sometimes forget that when we are working inside an ambulance or on a street that there are hundreds of people desperately trying to find out whats happening, or every evening of every night there are millions of people going home to have their dinner in front of the TV while watching an episode of Sun, Sea and A&E.

Well I wonder if they would be so keen to eat their dinner in front of the TV watching my idea of a real reality ambulance documentary titled POO, PEE and A&E.

Mmmmmmm just want you want to see while on your plate is poo brown gravy with terd shaped sausages and a nice glass of UTI urine looking apple juice. LOVELY!

22 Nov 2010

Time Warp

Purple +

This is a job I did in the first couple of weeks in the Service

Red 1 Allocated ?Suspended ?Purple

I'm driving because I'm on my Blue Light Experience Placement. So I am really fresh at this and I could feel the excitement and adrenalin rushing through my body. We arrive at this small flat in North West London and rush up the stairs, there was already a Fast Responder on scene and it soon became clear that our life saving skills were not required and only the "recognition of death" skill from the senior clinician on scene was needed.

The person who found our patient was a young lady who had an appointment to perform a pedicure on the poor old girl. She was crying saying that she had only seen her last week and that she pops around every week to do her nails. The old lady did have family but typically in this country they hadn't been in contact with her for years. The flat (apartment) was messy and under-maintained with minimal home comforts and absolutely zero heating.

The saddest thing for me was that you could actually picture the route she had taken from the kitchen to her living room and I could almost see her ghost replaying out the whole incident for us and the police to get a solid picture of what path she took to her fate. Here goes!

From what I could see she made herself some dinner and started walking towards her living room, at some point between leaving the kitchen and before entering the living room she had suffered a catastrophic acute attack, possibly a stroke or heart attack. I followed the trail of food on the floor through the hallway into the living room where the plate was broken with more mouldy food on the floor. There was a broken table in the middle of the room and I gather she stumbled on this just before landing in her final (4 day) resting place which was between the armchair and small side table where her careline alarm pendant was sitting, instead of it being around her neck where it should have been. I cant help but wonder that maybe if she had that pendant around her neck and pressed it at the time she fell, would the ambulance crew who would have been there within 8 minutes have been able to save her life. In a way I hope not, that way it would have been fate and not a tragic mistake.

To add a twist to this story, the people who lived below her did say that they heard a loud thump and crash on their ceiling 4 days ago and didn't think to knock on her door to see if she was ok. She was 89 years of age. REST IN PEACE

PS Purple means DEAD and Purple + means long DEAD

A new life across the pond!

Sometimes I get this overwhelming urge to work in the EMS in the US or Canada.

Why I don't know.

Any advice?

21 Nov 2010

A family affair

Amber 1 Allocated (89YO Male severe bleeding from nose)

We were 7 miles away from the job, I was driving so it didn't take long to arrive. I wasn't working with my usual crewmate I was with a lady. Making our way to the job I didn't get a chance to read the actual block name and door number I just followed the SatNav. When just under half a mile away from the address I took a quick glimpse at our MDT screen and notice that the job and the man in question was no other than my grandfather.

When we arrived my grandad was standing outside talking to the driver of the fast response vehicle that on this occasion just happened to be a manager. As I approached my grandfather I said "allo grandad you alright mate" on hearing that the manager turned and looked at me as if he was about to give me a bollocking for being patronising to the old fella. It was only when we were hugging that it dawned on him that he was my real grandad. Our control was really good and they allowed me some to with him to sort him out etc. He was ok, even fit enough to try and chat up my female crewmate (the dirty old fella) We left him with his horse raising and carried on the rest of the shift winding up my crewmate that I would give my grandad her number hahahaha

I'm going to add a glossary of terms and will add it on a separate page

When I work out how to do it!

20 Nov 2010

Hero's and Villains

How things can change in two days! (Last Week)

Heroes of the day!

Yesterday my crewmate and I were called in to our station manager's office for a little praise.

"Great! well done guy's for keeping your timings within targets" ie they like our average (At Hospital Times) to be under fifteen minutes, ours is 6.6. Basicly they like us working and moving rather than dossing. And we have been like ninja ambulance men keeping our times to a minimum. We haven't really been trying that hard to be honest all we have been doing is working hard to satisfy our enthusiasm. It was nice to get a thank you from our station manager though.

And the next day!

Held in contempt!

Amber 1 Allocated (25 Female Bleeding PV, feeling faint)

The address is in a Magistrates Court for immigration. I admit that I originally thought it was a person condemned for deportation pulling a fast one by pleading illness. However when we arrived we could see through the door as we were approaching the court room that this lady was splayed out on a chair looking extremely pale (she was afro-Caribbean) and not fully alert. As we tried to enter the court room we were instructed by a court security guard to stay outside while the hearing was in progress. So obviously we ignore him and enter the court room where we were told by the Head Magistrate in no uncertain terms "if you try to enter this court while the hearing is in progress I'll hold you both in contempt"

Well great stuff, one day we were heroes the next we were villains, in a way I wish we had entered anyway and been put into a court cell. Would have been an interesting post on the blog lol!

15 Nov 2010

16 Oldies pressed back into service

For the Christmas rush

The powers at be are pressing 16 vehicles that are currently enjoying retirement back into service for the Christmas rush.

WOW and they are being deployed to a small minority group of staff known as Urgent Care.

Roll on the the fumes, the breakdowns, the cold, the lifting, the broken cupboards, low fuel economy and to top it all no bloody radio.

Anyway lets all grin and bare it, after all its not like its a new thing, I mean why shouldn't we be forced to use condemned vehicles. We are only a group of under represented staff that are excluded from applying from every position in the service because of our skill level.

"Why don't you do something about your skill level" I hear you say! well we dont because that would mean resigning from a full time contract onto a 3 year contract with no guarantee of employment if you fail the course and even if you pass and become a Paramedic they still do not guarantee you a position.

Oh well and I promised not to moan on my blog.

12 Nov 2010

Mobile Dental Support Unit

Green 2 Allocated (37YO Male with toothache. ring back for Clinical Telephone advice but patient demands an ambulance.

Gobsmacked we radiod control and asked why they were sending an ambulance and is this appropriate. They informed us that he didn't want Clinical Telephone Advice and wanted an ambulance. Our response "OK control, show us attending cad ???? as we are a Big Green Tooth Fairy Machine" Controls response to us "OK ???? i'm sure you'll get to the root of the problem".. So laughing we head off to the job with a plan in mind.

Our plan was to turn up wearing full body armour and helmet and infection control kit (Green Apron and elbow high gloves) We were going to explain that there was a highly contagious virus in the area that starts with effecting peoples teeth and that he needed conveying to A&E ASAP before his teeth fall out. We were even going to dress him in some sort of hazmat suit and rap a bandage around his cheeks assuring him that is was for protection.

Unfortunately we were cancelled off the job for a higher priority call. Just as well really as we would have probably got the sack if we had carried all that out.

I'll f?ckin shoot you bruv!

Amber 2 Allocated (67YO Male, fallen off bus ? Fractured Hip plus Head Inj)

So running on lights and sirens we head through Edmonton in North London and as we pull down this back street I notice a car purposely speed up and try and get by us before we made entry into the street, however we were slightly faster than him and he ended up being blocked by us. He wouldn't reverse his car and at the angle we were at I couldn't reverse the truck. My crewmate got out and politely asked him to reverse and even offered to direct him back, instead he said "Move your fuckin truck init bruv" My Crewmate "I beg your pardon" Arsehole "now bruv or i'll fuckin shoot you" Hearing this I jumped out of the truck to confront him fearing for my crewmates safety. The prick then put his hand in his jacket and said "i'll shoot you bruv". So we moved to our Ambulance and called for urgent assistance (with me fuming and wanting to rip his head off his shoulders). He then mounted the pavement and made off shouting "i'll hunt you down and fuckin kill you c?nts"

This did delay our attendance to our patient but we attended to him and took him to hospital despite our earlier trouble.

The arsehole was arrested earlier that day. But its a shame its not the 70's where the old bill could've given him a bloody good hiding.

The things we do!

Green 1 Allocated (77YO female needs help getting to the commode, carer needs assistance)

Well you can imagine that the air was blue in the cab of our ambulance as my crewmate & I ranted and raved that surely we are not here to support the private (for profit) care company. Not that we have anything against the poor old girl that needed a poo, we just didn't agree that an ambulance should be sent. Anyway we arrived at the address and discovered the real story, so here goes:

The old girl had an accident in the morning and hurt her knee while the carer tried to move her on her electronic standing machine. Due to the old girl suffering from cerebral palsy since birth it turns out that she had originally refused transportation to hospital that morning by another ambulance crew because she is terrified of being admitted to hospital for a couple of months. She doesn't like hospital due to being in and out of them all of her life. Well I can tell you that it was a mission and half to get her to agree to go to hospital, we did everything. The upsetting thing for us was that she started crying as we explained that the best thing for her at the moment was to pop over to A&E have a quick xray and come back home.

The only way to persuade her to go in was to promise that we'll pop in every time we're close to that particular A&E. I can tell you that we did pop in and see her and reassure her that she'll be ok. We even arranged that her carer would be at her home just before Patient Transport dropped her off.

Green 1 Allocated (97YO female cut to leg)

It's late 2245, 15 minutes before the end of our shift and we are making our way to an affluent part of London. We arrive in the block of flats and are greeted by a concierge who showed us to the apartment. These apartments were in Victorian era buildings with lovely mosaic flooring in the hallways and still had the old lifts which had wooden doors. The flat is a multi million pound apartment but clearly under-kept due to the old girl being to old to care for it. She had been a journalist by trade and was one of the first women in the industry. She was as tough as old boots and had just been to dinner at her club. She had a very slight cut to her leg, for which an over zealous and now absent carer had called us out for. We dressed her leg and ensured we left enough dressings for the next day. Because she didn't want to go to A&E the London Ambulance Service has a policy of not allowing any person over the age of 55 to stay at home without further assessment from a Paramedic (We are a type of Medical Technician). So we waited for the Paramedic and had a chat with her to pass the time. In comes the Paramedic, carries out some checks and an ECG and signs us off and goes off to another job.

We of-course stay to help her brush her teeth and assist her to the toilet, help her into her nightie and tuck her into bed. We then ensure that her pendant alarm is within handy reach and that her bedroom light is off. Oh we also notice that her clocks are wrong so we adjust them, and that there are trip hazards everywhere so we adjust that (Creased rugs etc) we then close all the windows, turn her heating on, switch all the lights off and lock her front door as we say goodnight and sweetdreams. It's now 0045.

Thing is we don't have to go to this level of compassion and I'm not sure if other crew's do it (I'm sure they do) but I know that I go home feeling good about myself, I would much prefer these old girls over and above any self induced issue like drunkenness.

10 Nov 2010


I'm talking about myself

I'm a junkie. I have a habit which a lot of people would call a dirty habit. Yes at the moment I'm addicted to work. I'm in the middle of a stretch of 6 rest days and I can't cope, I'm climbing the walls like a junkie my teeth are starting to itch, I'm starting to scratch the door. Has anyone ever seen the film "train spotting" well that does't have a patch on me at the moment.


9 Nov 2010

Heroes on that day 7/7

I feel it pertinent to mention, while the inquest into the 7/7 attacks is taking place and while there is much criticism in the media about the role of the Emergency Services on that fateful day that:

While the innocent victims of that day where running away from those tragic events there was a group of people running towards it all. These people are normal people, people not born with special bravery genes but ordinary people doing an extraordinary job. Where the victims of that day never had a choice but to be brave and try to survive, the people heading towards the danger had a choice whether to go and risk their lives or not go. Every one of these people made the choice to go and try and make order out of chaos and life out of death and to bring help and support to colleagues and victims.

These people where the brave men and women of the London Ambulance Service, London Fire Brigade, Metropolitan Police Service, British Transport Police, City of London Police, London Underground, British Red Cross Society, St John Ambulance, Salvation Army & the numerous County Ambulance Services that help with our regular calls.

To all you Men & Women, I salute you as does the rest of the world.

4 Nov 2010

Ambulance Man vs Bus Man

Red 1 Allocated (5-YO Male Life Status unknown, caller crying and hung up phone)

As you would imagine there was a real need to get to this job as quickly as possible driving as fast as safety would allow. Well I did, we were 5 miles away and it was 17:00 hours which meant I had to navigate my way through rush-hour traffic. Having safely manoeuvred through 3 miles of traffic I reached a set of road works, the works were quite passable except that two buses had stopped next to each other in opposite directions with their drivers having a little chat. Oblivious to the fact that they were holding the traffic up one of them looked up and noticed me, yes me driving a big yellow ambulance with blue flashing lights and nee naaaws sounding stuck in front of him. He slowly looked back to his brother driving the other bus slowly finished off their conversation and gently pulled off. As he drove past me I shrugged my shoulders with disgust and do you know what he said, he told me to "go fuck myself" well I nearly exploded with anger. Two things stopped me from getting out of my truck and battering him 1) The 5-YO Kiddie & 2)My job is worth more.

Guess what! We didn't make to that job luckily there was another vehicle closer and they got there first so we were cancelled off.

Did I want to drive to that bus depot and Ram Raid it with my ambulance? Damn right I did.

104 Years old and still working

Green1 Allocated (104YO Male, fall ? Fractured Hip)

We arrive at the sheltered housing apartment block and walked into the residence's communal area. The Scheme manager approaches us and informs us that the gentleman will down shortly. I asked how is he getting down considering he has pain in his hip. "Oh" she says "he's very independent and he's cheesed off that we've called him an ambulance, he doesn't want any days of sick from work". "From work" I said "what are you running here a work house, what do you mean days off sick". "Oh" She said "He works for the plumbers around the corner, cleans their vans, he ran the marathon 2 years ago too".

Shocked from hearing this information I had to take a seat while waiting for the old fella. As I sat back on the chair in the communal lounge I heard a crunch with a sudden sharp pain right in my arse, I shot straight up onto my feet thinking I had sat on some poor old folk. When I looked down there was a skeleton sitting in the chair. Apparently the 104YO bought this skeleton and likes to leave it in the chair covered with an old blanket to scare the old girls that live there.

Anyway shaken up from my ordeal with skeletor I greet my new patient and walk him to our ambulance for some observations, as he refused to go by chair. All the Obs we fine (actually they were text book) I had a feel of his hips which he didn't appreciate but they seemed fine, just had a little bruising. After a lengthy conversation I informed him that we will pop him down to hospital and he reluctantly agreed. (Because of his age it is best to get him checked over). But before we could leave for hospital he challenged me to an arm-wrestle which I reluctantly agreed to.

I wheeled him into A&E where there was a half hour wait due to the Nurse shift change. This is how the clinical handover went.

"This is ?????? he is 104 years old, he had a fall last night and now suffering from a little bit of pain in his right hip. I've assessed him and he has a full range of movement in his hips and legs. He can weight bare and walk without pain. His Obs are all normal and he his alert and well. Plus he's still in full time employment" Unimpressed Nurse "What is he doing hear then! Pissed of me "BECAUSE HE'S PAID HIS NATIONAL INSURANCE FOR 90 YEARS"

Did he win that arm wrestle, yes of-course he did. Don't know whether I let him though lol

Writers Block

My head is loaded with jobs from the past week but for the life of me I can't put them into words.


30 Oct 2010

Thespian or attention seeker

Green1 Allocated (67YO Female fell in street)

It was only 0.2 miles away from our location, which was the ambulance bay of a west London hospital so we arrived pretty quick. Here's how the job went.

Park up next to her and say "hello love, i'm jack how are you" "f??king awful" she replies, I say "what happened" "I tripped over that poxy curb didn't I" she replied. So I assessed her injuries and she didn't seem to have any so we placed her in our chair and carried her into the back of our truck for some observations. All Obs were fine apart from her blood pressure being a little bit elevated. She was also FAST Negative (Passed the Stroke test). She was a difficult old stick but seemed OK and was a little lonely.

As I was completing my paperwork and finishing off a second set of Obs she said "oow I'm feeling dizzy and I can't move my arm" I took a look at her face and saw some droopiness in her lips. Worried! I took another stroke test and this time she was FAST Positive with weakness down one side of her body and facial droopiness plus slurred speech and a severe headache. Being only 0.2 miles from A&E we immediately placed a blue call (Hospital Pre-Alert) and fired up the roof travelling on blues and twos.

Wheeling her in to resus with a team waiting we placed the lady on the hospital bed and changed her from our o2 to the Hospitals o2 system which is behind the bed. On handing over to the Doctor he asked me how I had come to the decision that she had suffered a CVA (Stroke). I explained my findings and he said "well take a look at her now" I walked around to the front of the bed and she had none of the symptoms, absolutely none. Doctor told me that I must have been mistaken. I replied that she must be a really good actor practising a new role because I have seen a few CVA's and this was the most convincing.

I walked in with her feeling good that I was helping her, but walked out feeling like a twat.

Till death do us part.

Four weeks ago I lost someone, someone very dear to me, I lost him to another man in a posher part of town. I slaved with him for 9 months through thick and thin, through p?ss and sh?t we shared everything together, but he left. NO I AINT GAY this bloke was my classmate and crewmate and he's buggered off to a station closer to home. B?ST?RD!

Still never mind! I have a new bloke around now and we're are great team.

In with the new out with the old

New life upstairs deaf down below

Lately we have been receiving deliveries of new ambulances at our station which is of-course fantastic. Our garage has been a sea of yellow over the past few weeks, with the odd white vehicle sitting around namely the original white coloured trial Mercedes which are awful. Parked downstairs are a number of our old LDV's which are being decommissioned and crushed along with sadly their valuable 3.5Ltr Rover V8 engines.

I hear so many people saying how glad they are that the old fleet has gone and how sh?t they were, the most vocal of these are the student paramedics. I agree with them that they were old and tired, that they had seen better days. But lets get a little sentimental now and think about something. How many lives have been saved in the back of these trucks, how many babies have been born and sadly how many last moments were experienced in them. How many romances and arguments, how many times has somebody been standing at the end of their pathway anxiously awaiting our presence and then being relieved upon hearing the LDV's sirens and seeing the distinguishable shape of it rushing up their street. How many times has a Police Officer been first on scene at a stabbing then look up with a sigh of relief when seeing his ambulance colleagues turning up in an LDV.

I really think it is sad to see them go, but I know we must dispose of the old and bring in the new. But lets respect the old and let them go with honour and dignity.

29 Oct 2010

Ghost Stories. Wooooooh

This was the conversation in our ambulance last week at 2am parked outside an old east London churchyard.

My crew-mate will be in italics, I will be in normal text.

What would you do if you ever saw a ghost? Shit myself! OK picture this: We get a job to an old house with ivy growing all over the front wall and around the front door. As we enter we are approached by an old lady that says her husband isn't feeling to well and that he's been deteriorating over the past few days. We ask her about his medical history and if he has any meds, she obliges with the information and before she goes to get his meds she points us to the room where he is sleeping. As we wake him up we ask him about his current health and that we are here to take him to hospital, but then he asks us who called an ambulance and who let us in. We tell him that his wife Elsie did, he replies saying that she past away 10 years ago. After a few more stories like that to each other the churchyard we were parked next to became unbearable to look at. I swear every house we went into that night we had our torches on. Us 2 brave ex coppers we taking no chances. We even kept that light on in the back of the truck, even though there was no patient in it. wimps aye lol

Paining to much & fire in belly

AMBER2 Allocated (45YO Male Abdo Pain)

It being an Amber Call (Potentially Life Threatening)we had to respond on lights and sirens. We arrived at the front door of a house with two mercs on the drive. Just about to knock on the door and the it magically opened in front of us with a creek and a little eye peering behind the door welcomed us in. The patient who had opened the door to us had apparently been in so much pain that he had to call 999. We did a set of Observations on him then poked and prodded his belly. No pain! He explained (this text in verbatim) "Paining to much, much paining in belly. Feeling like fire in belly. Waited to long for you, had to shit. After shit, no more paining all better now. Please please go I might catch fection from you then I start womiting." So we promptly left in disgust. Maybe we need to start charging these people that think of us as servants.

Familiar Face

Green1 Allocated (Man sitting in Homeless shelter with pains in feet)

We arrive at this grandiose building and entered the big imposing doors. Presented with a pigsty that stank to high heaven. We attended our patient and instantly realised why he had sore feet, they were red raw because he was wearing pair of trainers that never actually had soles on, well the skin on the bottom of his feet was as thick as my boots but nevertheless it wasn't a cobbler he needed it was a Doctor. The thing is I remembered his face from somewhere but for the life of me couldn't recall where. It was only when we arrived at A&E and clocked the Nurse rolling his eyes that the penny dropped, I walked passed him in A&E an hour before. WASTER!

Frequent Flyer (One day he will cry wolf & A&E will overlook him)

Had a patient yesterday that I've attended to 3 times already. As soon as I saw the call on the MDT screen I knew it was him. "Man with Pain in right leg, difficulty in breathing" I clocked the address and low and behold it was at a train station.

We arrived to find our old mate (who i shall not name) He is an elderly gentleman that was made homeless when his wife kicked him out for drinking to much. He's been to one particular hospital 600 times as he likes sleeping in the waiting area. I wouldn't mind but we were cancelled off a CVA to attend to him and the FRU that also attended was into overtime. On three occasions I have tried to arrange (through our service) homeless support for him, but he turns it down. One day we will find him frozen in a local park or we will blue him in with chest pains and A&E wont take him seriously and he will die.

WHAT ARE WE TO DO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is all true & to the point


28 Oct 2010

Ethanolic Seizure or wino with severe shakes ??

AMBER1 Allocated (Man slumped in wheelchair outside pub)

We turned up outside the pub, and saw the bloke in the wheelchair surrounded by 5 gorgeous girls. So priorities first we tucked ourselves in and tried to look tonk and hench for these birds. After chatting to the patient and sending the birds on their way (wow those skirts were short) we wheeled him onto our truck and got him warm. He was awake and alert and full of laughter. Then a Police car pulled up to talk to us, so I jumped off and had a chat with the copper, at that precise moment another bird walked passed dressed in a fishnet dress and I totally forgot that I was talking to the copper.

Then I hear my crew-mate shouting for me, I ran over to our truck and noticed our patient fitting, we knew this was genuine because he automatically poo'd & pee'd himself. We manhandled him onto our bed and secured his airway with an Oropharyngeal Airway and wacked an 100% mask on, his vitals were all good so we weren't to worried apart from having poo and pee on our trousers. Then some help arrived by way of an FRU Colleague. With his help we stabilised him and placed a blue call into A&E (PRE Alert Call). On the way in, he went into respiratory arrest (stopped breathing) so we bagged and masked him (breathed for him) en-route to A&E.

After rushing him into resus, handing him over, booking him in and cleaning our truck we popped back into resus to see how he was doing, only to see him sitting up and talking. All that hard work paid off, or was he just a waste of space junkie. I'll let you decide. He got treated equally.

Babe in Distress

AMBER-1 Allocated (2YO Male, 18% Burns)

We rush the 6 1/2 miles to the address and are the first ones on scene. At first we were presented with a mum with her 2YO boy standing next to her on the pavement, with her holding his right arm. He was hysterical. Once on the back of our truck I took his coat off and noticed that he had no skin left on his right arm & back. With his skin hanging off his back I desperately tried to apply burns dressings to him. But he was moving around in agony, so much so that the dressings were falling off. I tried to prize his mums hand off his right arm, which she was gripping so tight that she was literally stretching the skin off his hand. I asked her how this happened and she told me it happened in the bath, but it looked like a saucepan of boiling water to me. I also asked if she had applied cold water to him after the accident but she replied no, I was shocked that she hadn't even tried to cool it down and she even told him off for crying. There was nothing we could do to relieve his pain and all we could do was wrap him in burns kit, hold him and listen to his cries, watch his face as he struggles with the agony.

I haven't slept a full night since that job, I close my eyes and see his face and feel his agony. Knowing that he was looking at us for help and we couldn't relieve his pain in any great way. I feel so bad.

""I'M BACK "" Sorry for my remiss but I moved house and was without internet for ages

22 Aug 2010

Mad Dog

Green2 Allocated 82 YO Lady bitten by Dog now sitting in Doctors Surgery, GP having just called an ambulance for her transport to Hospital

We walk into the Surgery and this little old Dutch lady confronts us angrily "I must get home to my dog, he'll be worried. I must get back home before you take me to Hospital so I can lock my front door, so my baby won't run away" So out of the kindness of our hearts we take her back home, which was on the way to the local A&E anyway... We walked her up the steps to her front door, and we found it locked. Job done, time to go to A&E, oh no she had something else up her sleeve, she wanted to feed the dog & make a few phone calls before we left.. 45 Minutes later my crew-mate & I are trapped in her kitchen guarded by her mean little Jack Russell while she ate her dinner... But unbeknown to the little dog, we were hatching a plan to capture him as a prisoner of war & lock him away in the toilet & kidknapp his master for a visit to A&E... Our plan worked, after pouncing on the little bastard with a quilt taken off her washing line & diverting to plan B which was dumping him in the Garden, we finally persuaded her to come with us. But relations between us became cold as my crew-mate did't speak to her & she didn't speak to him all the way to A&E.. Our parting words were "if I ever need an ambulance, I hope it wont be you two" "as do we my love, as to we".....

You'll be glad to know that she & the little dog made a full recovery from their ordeals, it's a shame the same could't be said for us.

21 Aug 2010


Green 1 Allocation 4YO Male ? # Arm (# = Fracture)

On scene we are confronted with a little boy who suffers from Osteogenesis Imperfecta (Brittle Bones) He was laying on his daddy's bed on the arm he had fractured. On close examination we notice the he had snapped his humerus and was actually laying on it while it was still folded in half. Ouch. But he didn't cry, he didn't cry because he was used to it, he had 24 Fractures this year alone. Every joint on his body had a scar. We called for Paramedic Assistance for pain relief & took him to the nearest A&E. I asked his dad "how did he do it" he replied "he was doing handstands on the bed & his arm gave way" I asked "why did you allow that in his condition" his reply "the boy has got to be a boy" its really sad because it is true, to some extent he has got to live his life, but not so that it kills him.

Overview of the last week or so.......

I had two very similar jobs with two very nice gentlemen.

Green 2 Allocated, blocked catheter.... In the Sergeants Mess at one of the London Barracks.

We enter the Sgt's Mess to find an ex Sergeant Major from the Parachute Regiment, he was 96 years of age & fighting fit. After getting over the fact that my crew-mate hadn't ironed his shirt & that I had scuffed boots we managed to get him on our truck with the help of the the top dog of the Barracks, yes the man himself the Garrison Sergeant Major. While observing his vitals we got chatting about his days in the Service of His & later Her Majesty.. We discovered that he first joined the The Royal Sussex Regiment & later joined Airborne where he eventually ended up being a Para and stormed Pegasus Bridge at D Day.. The man was a tough as old boots and insisted that he walked into A&E as a simple thing like the pain of a blocked catheter was no patch on 26 years in the Army a World War & Korea... Will there really be another generation like them..

Another Job on the same day but later on in the evening

Green 2 Allocated, Blocked Catheter. in Sheltered Housing

We enter the tiny little flat & find another 96YO gentleman with a blocked catheter. He had been seen by the District Nurse earlier today & she had refused to change his catheter. So by this evening he had no choice but to call an ambulance, through careline.. He had tongue cancer so we could only communicate through writing on a piece of card. Guess what we found out: After the war he had a contract re-glazing the Houses of Parliament & the Clock face of Big Ben but during the war he had served with the Royal Sussex Regiment & then the Para's at Pegasus Bridge. Wow what a coincidence two separate jobs in two separate parts of London & we find two Men of the same age with the same problem who had also served with the same regiment... What a strange & wonderful world we live in


Red 3 Allocated 57 YO Male Chest Pains (Crew on scene, second crew needed for assistance)

We arrive to the fourth floor where this gentlemen lived with his father, we enter the living room to find the fella on the floor & a crew monitoring his vital signs, his BP was in his boots and he was braddybraddybraddycardic.. The crew told us to "load & go" we placed him on our chair in quick time, adjusted his 100% mask & carried him down the four flights of stairs... Once on the truck the poor fella's heart gave in & he arrested.. We blued him in to the nearest A&E which was 3 miles away, but unfortunately it was all in vain as the poor fella was pronounced dead ten minutes after arriving in A&E...

But I was troubled by this for a while. here's why..

While bagging him, my colleague was doing compressions. This meant that a had full view of everything in the back of our truck, I could see the patients chest being forced down & up, I could see my crew-mate sweating & I could the fella's Dad watching all this happen. Yet I felt nothing, even as I was forcing air into his lungs I could see the poor fella's lifeless eyes staring up at me, looking right at me yet again I felt nothing. We then swapped jobs & I took over compressions & while I was being slung about in the back by the moving ambulance & still trying to do effective CPR and even as I forced his cold chest down & up, down & up & at one point feeling & crack under my hand I still felt nothing for him.. All I had on my mind was my job. This poor fella's life was slipping through my fingers & I felt absolutely nothing.. It was only when we had handed him over to the Doctors & I was walking out of the resuscitation room that I happened to glance back at him & notice something. It was then that I got a sudden human emotional wave go through me, I wasn't upset but I felt sadness for him & compassion for his Dad.. The thing that brought this human side back, the thing I noticed when exiting the resus room was that he was wearing odd socks & in that split second I just thought that this morning when he was putting his odd socks on, he didn't expect his Dad to be outliving him.....

Sooo sad...

Then we went to some 22YO twat that had swallowed 2pence in a drinking game.


Stabbing (Running Call)

We were driving down a rough high street in North London at 5 this morning & noticed a couple of lads kicking a shop door, inside the shop was another couple of lads. We turned our truck around and asked control for urgent Police Assistance, then we blasted our bull horn & sounded our sirens & the lads ran away.. As they ran off, another lad came running out of the shop to us with blood all down his arm. Upon closer examination we noticed a very deep stab wound, and could even see his muscle hanging out of the hole... After quick intervention we stopped the bleeding & managed to calm his mate down that was screaming & shouting at us, in his words "jus fuckin move on bruv & get dis guy to ospital init".. Anyways after all that we find out that it was two rival gangs competing over who uses that particular shop.. How bloody silly

14 Aug 2010

Belly Aches, Taxi Service & the 9 Digit Man

The London Ambulance Service is an amazing institution, it's one that is able to cope with a variety of demands including taking up the slack from other services such as GP's, District Nurses & Care Homes.... Listed below is a few of my last jobs.....

Green 2 23YO Male Bellyache, explains to our control that he cannot get to hospital himself

Arrive scene, to be confronted with a chubby 23YO that needs a shite & can't... Apparently he hasn't poo'd in 3 days. I asked "why haven't you been to the pharmacy & sorted this before it got this bad" He explains that "I am much paining, fire in belly, doctor job to sort, take me to doctor, do not question" "it my right to be treated by doctor" I reply "OK Yoda we'll drive you the 1 mile it is to hospital" "but rest assured I will be taking this up with the Jedi Council"

Green 2 86YO Female, dislodged catheter (she pulled it out herself)

We arrive to this tiny care home & which came as quite a shock to us, it was a really friendly & caring care home.. The little old girl that had pulled out her catheter had severe dementia, therefor it wasn't her fault that she pulled it out.. The care home had called the District Nurses Office to ask them to attend & sort the problem.. But oh no, it's a Friday & its late afternoon & they want to knock off early, so because of them the LAS & A&E have to deal with it.. Friday afternoons in A&E are not ideal for little old ladies, but the District Nurses have to knock off early on a Friday, but we can't blame them, it's a British established past time...

Running Call, intoxicated male, late thirties, bloody hand

A running call is where we get flagged down by members of the public.

We were driving looking for a nice place to buy our £2 for ten spicy wings shop, when we were flagged down by what we noticed as a hot bit of totty.. She said her boyfriend had cut his hand when his bottle of wine exploded.. We walked up to him and promptly noticed that he did have a cut on his hand, trouble is it was where his little finger used to be. Yes the bottle of wine severed his little finger.. So while my crew-mate plugged the wound I looked for the digit & found it.. I picked it up & for a slight second thought that it could be the ideal piece of issued kit to pick your nose with, but decided it was a bad idea and put it in a bag & blued him & the finger into the nearest A&E......

The other jobs were mainly PTS.

9 Aug 2010

A strange Metropolis

My view of London our great Metropolis on a good day

Driving through the streets of London, it brings home to you just how old our Capital City is... Wonderful Architecture both hidden & overt, weird street names, a mix of restaurants offering cuisine from all over the world, nice taxicab, white van & bus drivers that nicely move out of the way for us when we're on Lights & Sirens.. Tourists & pedestrians.. Royal Parks, shops & public transport.. Londinium is a rich mix of culture & business... One day can be quite exhausting but refreshing too...

And on a bad day

Driving through the streets of London, it brings home to you just how old & dirty our Capital City is... Old derelict unsafe Architecture both hidden & overt, poxy narrow over congested streets, a mix of restaurants offering condemned meat & kebabs from all over the world, rude ignorant & arrogant taxicab, white van & bus drivers that do not move out of the way for us when we're on Lights & Sirens & sometimes purposely block our way .. Tourists & pedestrians that ask silly questions & directions when you're carrying a patient to the ambulance.. Royal Parks that are mostly cruising grounds & areas for the rich to keep fit & ride their horses , overpriced shops & public transport that's always late, filthy & expensive.. Londinium is a poor mix of culture that finds it hard to cooperate with each other resulting in segregated areas & business's that are undercutting each other at the expense of their employees... One day can be quite exhausting...

8 Aug 2010

Crowning Glory

The ring ring ring of the MDT sounded in our cab, and there it was the job I've been waiting for since being on the road.. I don't know why but I've wanted to experience a birth imminent job, and hopefully witness the magical experience of seeing life for the first time & knowing that, I, I have helped that happen "well at the final stages anyway". We were 9 miles away & an FRU was on scene, we hastily activated & drove like mad men (well like health & safety anal mad men) to the job. During the journey we planned our particular roles & mentally prepared ourselves for the ordeal, then at 2.5 miles away some b??t?rd beat us to it & we were cancelled....... Then were given our 2nd Peg Feed job of the night (can anyone advise me where to put the adrenaline when you are cancelled off a good job & then given a no-brainer)

Street Fighters & Gipsy tear ups

RED 2 Running Call, Assault, Young Male. ? Head Injury

We notice a young man standing on the side of the road, shouting & throwing his arms about, has some blood on his face & surrounded by Police.... This young fella is clearly pissed off, he's just turned 18 & out with his girlfriend & someone attacks him apparently randomly....

Being a young lad he spoke a totally different language to me, so I tried to accommodate & speak some of his lingo which I have picked up from various patients... So here goes:

Bold is me, non bold is patient

"Ahhhite brev sum w??ker jus bagged meeee init" "dats dread bruv" "wot appund" "i'm tellin you init, buts wot wid all de feds bout me, ow can tink wid all dees f??king pigs init" "luut step int-oow me ride an me sort ye aht man" "ahhhite butt ie wan da feds to bag dat w??ker init" "you getting me" "yh yh yh boss bat let me look at ya ed do yea, den we sort out da 5:0 to go & juuk imm up yea" "ar yuuuu takin da piss bruv, why u bein like dat, jus patch me ed man, please bruv" "ya soo next boss"

Turns out he tried to buy some weed & run off without paying, so dealer gave him a hiding...

Red 3 Allocated 3 patients, assault

We roll up to a Police Cordon, and notice an FRU & ambulance already on scene. 3 patients on scene but my crewmate & I only had to treat one.. He was a very very very pissed up traveler that had been beaten with a shovel.. ? Fractured arm everything else just cuts & bruises.. He was a nice enough chap, hard to understand though, but a nice bloke. Just before leaving I popped over to the other ambulance to speak with the crew.. They had the fella's wife in their truck, she was suffering with hand injuries caused by hitting somebody with a shovel, oow I wonder who that was.. anyway I left their truck when she told me to "fak aff" lol

Amber 1 Allocated 20 YO female blocked throat, can't breath. delay language line

We rock up & immediately confronted with a healthy, fully breathing young lady who has a blocked nose, yes a simple blocked nose.. I asked "why did you call an ambulance for a blocked nose" she replied "coz I wan't you to clear my nose coz I can't sleep" .... I'm going to end the story there before I rant & swear....

7 Aug 2010

The Ace Cafe Ambulance Reunion

Green 2 Allocated 20 YO Male ABDO pain

Lad with a bellyache, been pooing runny poos since this morning so mum decides to dial "999 AND ASK FOR AN AMBULANCE". So we roll on up to the house, doting mother having a go at us because we are 2 hours late.. We do an assessment, his Obs were A1 & we found out that he had a dodgy curry the night before, so we explain that it may be better to see his GP rather than a trip to hospital. But his mother said that because he is paining he must go to A&E. So here we are about to drive a 20 YO fit male to A&E and when we look behind to see where his mother was, we notice that she is getting in their huge family car to follow us to A&E.... Do people demand ambulance's for minor issues because it is a free at the point of contact service or are they just thick...

What particularly annoys me about the above job was the that before that, we attended to this poor fella:

Green 1 Allocated. 95 YO Male, lethargic, Infected Ulcers, Low BP, Braddycardic

We arrive at what was quite a nice Care Home (this is a rarity) and while my crewmate has a quick chat with the patients daughter I try to decipher what is written on the notes left for us by the GP, the note reads that the patient has severely infected ulcers on both his lower legs, and that they are infected with "MRSA". (would have been nice if the GP had explained this to LAS before we were dispatched). So according to protocol we don our infection control equipment and get to work.. Obs weren't very good, BP being 92/48 & PR being 66 this wasn't to worry about at first but then I read that he has Ventricular Tachycardia so in his case this was quite slow.. We arrive at A&E and he is wheeled straight into a quarantined room..

The above gentleman really needed an ambulance & really needed Hospital attention, but he was reluctant to go, partly because the Hospital had only released him 5 days ago, and yes he had been in that condition on discharge. Then we get a 20 YO waisting everybody's time......

So after a thorough deep clean of the ambulance & a change of clothes we were back out on the road & did a couple more bread & butter jobs.....

So it being not that busy we were asked to return to base for a break, but because we were next to the ACE CAFE we decided to request for our break there & we got it.... and then a genuine coincidence occurred & another crew turned up on a break, it was a couple of blokes that had trained with us. So we had a little ACE CAFE reunion & had chilli burgers right next to some classic Nortons & triumphs complete with the smell of engine oil. GREAT!!!

Subject you would normally expect to hear in an Ambulance Station male locker room

0730Hrs in male locker room on station

Ok 6 fella's all getting ready to start a days work for the service, we're in the locker room talking & shouting, but what about (sex, woman, football, rugby, cars) oh no no no no us modern men don't talk about such vulgar subjects, instead us fella's with age's ranging from 20 to 50 are debating the fundamental principles of baking a tasty loaf of bread.. It's a modern world we're just trying to adapt............

5 Aug 2010

Triage, Triage..... and more Triage

We arrive to A&E with our slightly ill patient (really was only slightly ill) & notice that it is all boarded up & workmen are walking around doing their usual thing (one digging & four watching), I get a little confused because I could have sworn that four months ago this Hospital had an A&E so I drove our truck around the Hospital site & found nothing so drove back to where I originally thought it to be... I parked up got out & spoke with the builder & asked "where's the A&E" he promptly replied in a broad Irish accent "I don't know where its gone, I've just come back from break" I replied slightly sarcastically "what did they pack it all in within an hour" I walked away leaving him looking rather confused. We finally find A&E which is now on a whole new road & wheel our patient in & got Triaged (1) was then moved to area two & triaged (2) was then asked to take our patient to Traige (3) confused? we were!

My crewmate & I both haven't been to this particular A&E for about four months & didn't realise that they had packed up, closed shop & moved, they've got themselves & really nice if somewhat maze type A&E. But of-course communication being what it is we were not to know.

Mainly run of the mill, bread & butter type jobs today, but one stands out....

Green1 Allocation 87 YO Male shaking, sweating, pale, back pain... at a social services centre

We arrive to find an Asian gentleman sitting in the communal room with other elderly people, one of whom randomly starts shouting at me & calling me George & complaining that I didn't deliver her milk... The elderly fella was alert & talking, unfortunately he was telling fibbs when he asked the staff to call an ambulance, he had been playing down his pain & saying that he only had leg pain, when in reality he had chest pain... We did a quick set of Obs - pulse rate was erratic between 103-148, BP 97/48 & PALLOR BM 16.2. As we were only around the corner from Royal Free (which is handy because once diagnosed by A&E he could then be transfered to their CathLab) we decided to load & go rather than wait for another crew.. I'm sure we did the right thing.. Maybe one day they will include ECG's to our scope of practice....

The rest of the day was Health Care Professional Admissions that weren't really that bad. But we still had a good day... Between jobs we managed to get Free Sausage & Chips with mushy pea's & a coke from this lovely Chip Shop in the west end... We then wen't to buy an icecream & the man refused our shekels and insisted we had them for nout... Then we popped into the Hilton to check up on a Patient we had a couple of months back who works there & we ended up having a really posh Cappuccino in a really posh coffee bar in the Hilton on park lane.... wow and still managed ten jobs..... Kings of the road..

Oh and in-between all that we had to bandage up our back door of our Mini-Merc because the lock started playing up.......

3 Aug 2010

A couple of Jobs we did last week before I started blogging

Green 2 Allocation, 96 YO female, fallen still on the ground.

Granny Down! We gotta Granny Down! I hate attending to little old ladies, not because I don't like them because that isn't true, but because I feel so helpless when they insist on being independent & refuse help from carers and the like.. Anyway-

We eventually enter the house once we have found the correct key-code for the outside key-safe, however while we were hunting for the code we could see her and speak to her through the window so there was no need to force entry. Once inside we were greeted by the lovely old dear who was laying on the floor after she had tripped on the rug. (They will insist on having these rugs)I take one look at her left leg and notice it has been completely de-gloved from her knee to her ankle, with no blood loss but plenty of fat loss as there was loads of white/creamy fatty bits all over the carpet & of-course my knee once I had knelt in it to attend to her wound.. While my crewmate did a set of Obs to check her vital signs I arranged an extra large ambulance dressing x 2, made them slightly damp so they wouldn't stick & applied them to her shin wrapped tightly with Peta-Haft dressings. Afterwards I had a look around and couldn't find anything that could have caused this type of injury, which left me puzzled - & then it came to me she had severe Oedema on her other leg, so I worked out that as she hit the carpet her left leg had simply burst due to her skin being under so much pressure. So as her vital signs were better than mine we decided to carry on with the job ourselves with no further assistance, but as we tried to get her onto our scoop board & trolley the little old lady asked us what we were doing and that she wanted to stay at home, her exact words were "do i have to go to hospital love" I explained that she had a wound on her left leg that needed urgent attention and that if it was on my leg I would be hysterical. She final agreed to come with us... We found out on the trip to hospital that she had been an Army Nurse during the war. The old girl was a tough as old boots, certainly much harder than us youngons........

Our Next Granny Down.....

Green 1 Allocated 106 YO Female, fallen over, can't get up - called by CARELINE.

Before I start this post I must tell you a bit about CARELINE, in most cases they are an excellent service which puts little alarms into elderly folks homes, one of them acts as a pendant type alarm around their necks, the theory being that once pressed CARELINE will speak to the Patient via the intercom in their homes & then relay information given to them by the patient to the Ambulance Service/Police/Fire Brigade etc.. Now this works mostly, but we have been to jobs where the wrong information has been given, even the wrong address. So as a crew, we do not always take what is said by CARELINE for granted..

So we approach this block of flats, built specially for elderly folks, however there is no warden or caretaker on site & we were informed that there will be one there to open her door for us.. But of-course this man is about 20 mins away and all our efforts of shouting through the door didn't pay off, we even climbed out the neighbours window and could see her but she wasn't moving, so I promptly advised control of the situation and decided to force entry in order save life & limb if needed.
So we entered her flat and found her on the floor in the kitchen after a fall while cooking her dinner, she was awake & alert albeit very upset. The reason she didn't answer our calls through the letterbox was because she was deaf, but I still feel justified for doing it. So we carry out our Obs & discover that she has no injuries at all, slightly low BP but then she is a frail old girl. She explained to us that she was adamant she wasn't going to hospital, so in this case we have to call for Paramedic Assistance to sign us off to leave the patient at home. Within five mins a Paramedic Manager arrived (DSO)did a quick ECG & signed us off. However due to her damaged door we stayed with her until the Caretaker arrived to fix it, guess what, he didn't arrive so the Police Officers went down the road & bought some screws to fix the door themselves, what great blokes. While this was happening my crewmate & I cooked her dinner, made her a cup of tea, chatted to her for a while & then tucked her up safely into bed.. But heres the interesting part, her God Father was Fred Astaire she even had pictures to prove it. Her father had been a theatre producer and had got on pretty well with Fred so when she was born Fred asked to be her God Father. She later became a top dancer in the theatre world of London & even New Yorks Broadway the pictures of her as a dancer in the 30's & 40's were just amazing, she was stunning. I will have that memory for ever!!

So here we are, these are the type of jobs I go to, I sleep soundly knowing I have hopefully made a small difference to their lives......

I'm fully rested & ready for blogging

The stark difference between jobs, yet we have to treat them the same! read on & tell me how you would cope.

Green 2 Allocation 31 YO Male fallen down 5 steps, injured eye & ankle

We arrive at this lush loft apartment in Londons west end & are greeted by the patient's partner who explains that the patient is in the bedroom. As we move towards the bedroom the patient's partner moves towards the kitchen to make us a cuppa, he must have looked at the state of us & thought I have just the remedy for that mess of a crew lol! We get to the patient and I speak with him while my crewmate does an assessment & a set of Obs.. While speaking with him I find out some history behind his fall, the fall is due to him developing Motor neurone disease last October & this has left one side of his body weak at times so as he approached the steps he lost balance a fell, bang straight onto his head. Due to us not fully understanding the symptoms of Motor neurone disease we queried a possible C-Spine injury due to the hight of the fall & masked by the disease, so promptly immobilised his neck & asked control for Paramedic assistance. While awaiting a Paramedic we get talking to the gentleman and he explains that due to his disease he will only have 2 years to live at the most & his condition will deteriorate as the months go on, I felt instant sadness & compassion for this fella but didn't want to show it to much incase it made him feel awkward. So the Cycle Responder Paramedic arrives and clears a possible spinal injury which means we are able to place him in a chair & take him to hospital.. On the way to hospital I find out that he started off life, like myself from a council estate and had pretty much worked and forced his way into advertising and made a pretty penny with it. The man had his whole life in front of him, and tried to live it to the max with hobbies and work, he even knew his history and gave me a full account of his buildings Victorian heritage. Then as i'm saying goodbye to him & good-luck for the future I sadly remember his plight & that by the time i'm 30 he'll probably be dead & his really nice partner that made us a really nice cuppa will be lonely & upset. What a stinking horrible world this is sometimes...

And then almost as soon as we green up mobile we get another job..........

Green 1 Allocation 48 YO Male sudden onset of blindness & weakness

So we arrive at this brand new block of flats built in North London specially for vulnerable adults, in this case by vulnerable I mean junkies & piss-heads housed in modern 1 bedroom flats with all appliances supplied & rent courtesy of the TAX paying public. And here is me & my girlfriend who is a Nurse struggling to find somewhere to live.... ahhhhhhhhhh.

Anyway as we walk up the 3 flights of stairs past the piss & shit that someone has made on floor 2 and then past the junkies sitting on the 3rd floor we enter this mans apartment, very large & once nice apartment now filled with crap & rubbish & his floor littered with dog ends (cigarette buts). I approach him and at a distance chat with him, I notice 11 bottles of cheap wine (empty) beside his minging smelly bed that he had moved into the living room some weeks earlier. He explains that he has taken his daily does of Methadone & a hit of heroine & to round of his day he's drunk 11 bottles of this cheapo wine. Yet here he is still alert, albeit blind & immobile. He also hasn't eaten in a week. So in my head i'm thinking, what a prick he deserves all he gets & actually needs a kick in the bollocks. But good for him my professional ambulance head is screwed on tight so we treat him, assess him & begrudgingly carry him down stairs & onto our ambulance. On the way to A&E he explains how he has had a hard life growing up on council estates & that his parents split up when he was young bla bla bla bla. I'm sorry but this is excuse after excuse, I grew up in the same conditions if not worse, but I haven't touched anything illegal ever..

So here we are, two jobs completely different. One fella who's life is being taken away from him through no fault of his own & another fella who's life is slowly (to slowly)ebbing away through every fault of his own.. Who's to blame, society, mother nature, parents or are we all individuals responsible for our own doings & future. And sometimes life comes along & steals it from you.. I really don't know.

2 Aug 2010

Another two shifts (lates)

RED 3 Allocation (Elderly gentleman with central chest pain) 6 Miles away. So we rush there on Lights & Sirens, FRU already on scene assessing patient. Full set of Obs later we find that apart from his Chest Pain there is no other signs of an MI (Heart Attack) FRU does a 12 Lead ECG and notices some abnormalities, so we Blue him in to a CathLab, which is an NHS Hospital specially Kitted & Staffed to deal with MI's.

So we get there & hand over to the Surgeons, who were great & invited us to stay & observe the Angioplasty, which was brilliant. I feel i have really learned things on this CAD. We also had a full debrief from the FRU Paramedic - what a top fella, thank you.. Later we find out that he induced the MI due to pushing his car onto his driveway..

The patient is also going to make a full recovery, and that makes me feel great.. It's jobs like these why I joined up !! Keep em coming Control lol.

Amber 1 Allocated (RTC Vehicle on its side) So here we are first on scene to what seems at first to be a major smash between two cars. Its turns out that we have to deal with 3 Patients all with C-Spine injuries that only seemed to have come on, upon our arrival. So we promptly assume them to be Cash-spine injuries but of-course treat for first & worst. Anyway it being a busy night, we were short on ambulances so we had 3 patients, one collar & boarded, the other two collared, one Paramedic, one Tech 3, & two Urgent Care staff in the back of a Merc. Cramped but interesting. Another good job..

Green 2 Allocated (Health Care Professional Admission)in A&E within 4 hours. This is where a GP or out of hours Doctor has visited a Patient & then called 999 and given us a time-frame in which the Patient has to be in A&E. Unfortunately they are not always right with their timings, which is evident in this particular CAD..

Doctor Observations- 58 YO male, slight fever, sudden onset of lethargy.

Our Observations some 4 1/2 Hours later- 58 YO male, Temp of 42, Convulsions, Couldn't Obtain BP due to convulsions, Pulse Rate of 128, Eyes Non Reactive size 6, GCS 5, sats 82.. Hmmm did they change that much in 4 hours or did the GP just look at him ? Who knows, at least the Ambulance Service did a good job, we got him in and treated within 25 Mins.

Anyways sportsfans, I'm off to bed but there is more to come when I roll out of bed, sometime in the afternoon..... Night Night..... Dont let the GP's bite lol

31 Jul 2010

Here goes with my first attempt at blogging.

An overview of my last two days.

I've been on two 12hr shifts 0900-2100 but actually finishing as usual at least an hour & half late, which isn't really a problem for me to be honest, as we are in an operational job.....

OK Green 2 (Greens being the lowest category) allocated in one of the posher parts of our great city. A 51 Year old gentleman, living at home with his mother has decided that the best place to take a dump is on his arm chair, which may I add he hasn't moved out of for 3 weeks. The call came in as Abdomen pain, so we promptly leave station to attend to this poorly fella. We arrive at what is quite a posh house in quite a well to do street, and as we enter the address there seems to be nothing amiss, we are actually entering a well decorated, well maintained & expensive property, so of-course we were thinking wonderful, we can treat the patient, care for him take his Obs & have a blinding cupa tea while doing it. Oh how we were wrong. As we approached him we noticed a smell usually reserved for our other customers who get plastered on cheap cider, but here we are in a posh house smelling this smell, which is a combination of poo & pee. But that isn't the worst of it, as we speak to him and remove the blanket covering his lap we notice dried crusted poo which is level with his waist. So we do a quick set of Obs & decide that A&E (E.D)is th best place for him, as his skin had pretty much burned raw with his close proximity to poo. Anyway as we get him up from his chair, the movement breaks the hard layer of poo on the top & reveals the caramelised type poo underneath, then the smell hits me and all I can do is make a quick exit to the door & vomit in the mans garden, unfortunately leaving my crew-mate in there with the patient (he's a better man than I), I put on 3 face masks & this still doesn't hold back the smell. We get him on our chair & take him to A&E quickly, very quickly because he was still leaking poo all over my boots, our floor & bed... As we enter A&E we stink the whole place out & the sister in charge orders some student nurses to wash him down.. turns out he comes into A&E for a wash every 3 months or so... why you ask? is he disabled, does he have a mental condition. Turns out he doesn't, he is fit and healthy & can fully mobilise, just he like's pooing in front of the telly............ errrrrrrrrrr what a job..

Green 1 Allocated. Elderly faller, no injuries ? reason for fall. This job is miles away in an area of west London called Southall. We walk in to the house and see an elderly white lady of a large size (with a full beard) laying on floor being cared for by her neighbours. She is a sweet old dear that as usual doesn't want to bother anybody. As we do a set of Obs we notice that she is braddycardic at 42BPM, & her O2 Sats are 78, very low. Blood sugar is ok but she is Hypertensive (cant remember figures on that) she also had SoB (shortness of breath) & was pale. So we pop her on o2, struggle with getting her onto our trolley bed & blue her in to the nearest A&E which was only 1 mile away..

The saddest thing about this job is that she had a Son, but it wasn't he that looked after her, it was her entire street... I hear all this racism all the time & hear the press knocking the community but in this street the Sikh community is taking it in turns to feed her, wash her & clothe her. Each household actually had a week's responsibility then the duty was handed to the next house. Unbelievable & extremely community spirited, well done to you all and thank you for restoring my faith in humanity.

26 Jul 2010

My First day in the Service

I didn't know it, but the day was the beginning of a complicated affair, involving Lies, lust, loyalty, sadness, stress & laughter. It was to be a rocky affair shrouded in hope & underpinned with the unknown. Yes the day was my first day in the Service, welcomed into our training centre, a 1920's old ex Fire Station by our Instructors who was just as old.

The Ex-fire station is now an under maintained Front Line Ambulance Station with a state of the art training suite upstairs. The station is crewed by a cynical bunch of old school EMTS & Paramedics, pushed to the limits of tiredness, compassion strained by years of experience and turmoil, they all turned out to be the biggest bunch of well meaning, professional ambulance crews iv'e ever met. Keep up the good work guys.

I will now introduce you to the instructors.. (Names changed to reflect their characters)

Our Practice Manager,

Mr McKay

Quite the disciplinarian, he kept us in check, ensured we washed up our plates & cups and occasionally instructed. Yet another top bloke in the service.. This man is so good, he's forgotten more than most of us even know. With out him most of the Paramedic Exams wouldn't even have been written.

Our lead trainer....

Ron Jeremy,

Mr Jeremy is an experienced Paramedic, who started his LAS life as an Ambulance Man back in the glory day of Stretchers, bedfords and women. The man brings a whole true meaning to the phrase: Life-saving, heart-braking & love making.. Married a few times he has now settled and serves his time as a Paramedic Trainer for the service, he teach's us with professionalism , sarcasm, whit & laughter. A truly brilliant fella, top bloke.

Our Co-Trainer


Bariatric is somewhat of a magician actually he really is a member of the Magic Circle, a man with plenty experience apart from his left & rights lol. He was the balance, kept us sane where Ron Jeremy would often remind us (with good humore) where we stood in the service.. Bari's experience was 2nd to none with plenty of it gained from 7/7. He brought a kind of calmness to the class and acted as the weight for our many sessions of carry chair lifting & practice..

Then theres Claude Greengrass

On the very last moments of his career he has stayed in service just to keep us wondering how we may end up just before our retirement. To see an old fella with long grey hair and quite eccentric that keeps you laughing even though he's actually taking the piss out of you is quite something. My hero..

Anyway that was an intro to my very first experience, I will occasionally recount my days in training through out my blogging, so that I don't bore you.

Happy reading