Suspended

Red 3 Allocated 57 YO Male Chest Pains (Crew on scene, second crew needed for assistance)

We arrive to the fourth floor where this gentlemen lived with his father, we enter the living room to find the fella on the floor & a crew monitoring his vital signs, his BP was in his boots and he was braddybraddybraddycardic.. The crew told us to "load & go" we placed him on our chair in quick time, adjusted his 100% mask & carried him down the four flights of stairs... Once on the truck the poor fella's heart gave in & he arrested.. We blued him in to the nearest A&E which was 3 miles away, but unfortunately it was all in vain as the poor fella was pronounced dead ten minutes after arriving in A&E...

But I was troubled by this for a while. here's why..

While bagging him, my colleague was doing compressions. This meant that a had full view of everything in the back of our truck, I could see the patients chest being forced down & up, I could see my crew-mate sweating & I could the fella's Dad watching all this happen. Yet I felt nothing, even as I was forcing air into his lungs I could see the poor fella's lifeless eyes staring up at me, looking right at me yet again I felt nothing. We then swapped jobs & I took over compressions & while I was being slung about in the back by the moving ambulance & still trying to do effective CPR and even as I forced his cold chest down & up, down & up & at one point feeling & crack under my hand I still felt nothing for him.. All I had on my mind was my job. This poor fella's life was slipping through my fingers & I felt absolutely nothing.. It was only when we had handed him over to the Doctors & I was walking out of the resuscitation room that I happened to glance back at him & notice something. It was then that I got a sudden human emotional wave go through me, I wasn't upset but I felt sadness for him & compassion for his Dad.. The thing that brought this human side back, the thing I noticed when exiting the resus room was that he was wearing odd socks & in that split second I just thought that this morning when he was putting his odd socks on, he didn't expect his Dad to be outliving him.....

Sooo sad...


Then we went to some 22YO twat that had swallowed 2pence in a drinking game.